If Only You Knew
Hard to describe better to portray difficult to phrase simpler to show
Did you know I was frightened? Did you know I was scared?
Within I am shaky...
And outside trembles turn to pillars as sound and emotion emit physical display
wishing to tear my chest open let my heart transcribe the words I write oblivious to occasion that is emotion crying trying times spaces unknown no turning around no looking ahead in the here breathing the now that is emotion and as I... reach to touch to brush to rest my virgin hands upon his chiseled face my palm pauses in the static of air realizing it was all too soon that is emotion
Within the expanse of breath
Intermitting the charm of conversation I speak oblivious to words
Time no measure circumstance no occasion
That is emotion
Relaxing intimate times
Personalities unknown discovery ahead no looking back perceiving the future
Surviving in the present
That is emotion
And as instinct nudges me forward to kiss his satin lips I feel I am ready...
And it frightens me
That is emotion
Protected in the span of his chest my heart creeps oblivious to comfort time no measure
Circumstance no occasion calming reassuring, time’s actions unknown
Movements ahead
No reaching behind calling this minute desiring an answer in the next
That is emotion
And as nature prods me to rest in the arpeggio of his heartbeats
I lie ... realizing that I do not know
That is fear
That is emotion
Feeling his eyes as they explore my shoulders I desire more oblivious to where discovery may lead time no measure circumstance no occasion that is emotion
Sensual soft times
Love unknown
Ecstasy ahead
No negations instantaneous passion bewilderment in the aftermath
That is emotion
And as I rest my hands upon his caramel chest
Feeling my palms rest in the valley of his tenderness
My jaw tightens in frustration
Holding prisoner the doubts of the night before
That is emotion
Begging to let my flared nostrils devour the elegance of his scent
My neck rolls back in the softness of time
I breathe oblivious to the world of fragrance time no measure circumstance no occasion
Colorful dreamlike times senses unknown instincts follow a pattern ironically plans go astray
Lunging forward
Torn from behind inhaling swiftly at sunrise gasping in the moonlight
That is emotion
And as my face nuzzles the warmth of his neck feeling the pulse of his life in mine
My fingertips stroke his spine
Realizing the terrain is unknown that is desire that is fear
That is emotion
Wishing to love ... my mind searches for its meaning
While my heart perishes to the prospects of pain
I exist
Oblivious to emotion
While my body quivers in the shadows of his touch
If he kissed me my fear would overshadow its glory
If he touched me my uncertainty would chill its warmth
That is emotion
From a distance his physique creates daydreams marching into the night through my eyes
My body wishes for those things my mind can not comprehend time no measure
Circumstance no occasion baffling misunderstanding times
Fantasies resisted hopes in the future etched in gold reaching for the physical
I ignore the complications of the abstract
That is emotion
Resisting and wondering giving in and regretting
And as the environment endowed me with a superficial courage
To blaze trails upon lands I have never seen nature spoke silently from within
That is emotion
That is fear
That is strength encircled by the weakness of the present
And embraced by the maturity of knowledge
And as he accepts a kiss in the light of my uncertainty
Sound and emotion dance to the rhythm of a future in the midst of jazz
Time no measure circumstance no occasion
That is emotion
That is realization
That is love
The sunlight creeps draws near his sleeping face and my head nestles in the cradle of his sinewy arms if
It is the morning after the day breaks miraculously new
My heart palpitates in the joy of the present the afterglow of the previous
And the assurance of the later
Warmth succumbing me suddenly I realize that my lips caress his sleeping eyes
And the reality of my dreams frightens me
That is fear
That is desire
Time no measure
Circumstance no occasion
That is realization
That is love
That is emotion
